10 Important Things To Know About the Grieving Process

Even when you have anticipated it for some time, grief is always a complicated experience. You will experience things while grieving that will never be repeated at any other time of your life, from awful loneliness and longing to absolute joy and love as you remember. There is no easy guide to the grieving process, but certain things are helpful to keep in mind as you navigate this difficult journey.

10 Things to Know about the Grieving Process

There are no stages to grief For a long time, people were taught that there were five stages to grief, namely shock, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While many people do go through many of these stages, grief is not a linear process.

We might feel angry and depressed simultaneously for weeks, or cycle through these stages in a jumbled order for months. Grief is a complicated, messy process that is unique for everyone. It only gets more difficult when you try to apply stages to it.

Grief can be exhausting Grief can be physically, emotionally, and mentally draining to go through. From practical logistics during and after the funeral, to questions about life, death, and beyond, grief touches every aspect of your life. It demands that you engage in it with your body, emotions, and mind. Grief is not for the faint of heart, and yet that is exactly the state we are in during grief.

Memories are a double-edged sword Many people shy away from thinking about the loved one they lost because the memories can be painful. On the other hand, memories keep them alive, if only in your heart. It can be hard to allow yourself to reminisce, and it can be equally difficult to stop thinking about them once you’ve started.

There is no easy answer to the question, “How are you doing?” People mean well when they check in with you while you are grieving, but it can be hard to answer simple questions. Sometimes it helps to give answers like, “I’m doing better,” even when that’s not true. Other times it’s helpful to be candid and tell them how you are really doing, though there might not be an appropriate moment for that.

Triggers exist everywhere and they suck If you find yourself welling up in a supermarket because you heard a song that reminds you of a lost loved one, or felt some surge of emotion unexpectedly, that is normal. It’s also difficult and tiring to experience. Grief will often have you feeling overwrought.

Holidays and celebrations can be hard There will be certain dates and times of the year which will be ruined for you now. Grief establishes a new norm that you must learn to adapt to, and that’s easier said than done. It will be hard to live without someone, and certain times of the year will forever feel different now.

Grief brings uncomfortable combinations of emotions Grief is not all about depression and sadness. You will experience combinations of emotions that you have never felt before, like sadness and joy, anger and hope, or peace and despair. If anything, grief will make you aware of how difficult love can be.

You’re allowed to be sad Not only are you allowed to be sad at the funeral or in the months after, but you are allowed to be sad for the rest of your life without them. It’s important to feel the emotions that come in grief, and not to stifle or mask them. You might have to wear a mask sometimes, but powerful emotions are simply a part of the process.

Sometimes you want to talk about it, sometimes you simply need company and silence There will be times when family members don’t wish to talk about a lost loved one, and that can be fine. However, it is helpful sometimes to reminisce about them together. Grief craves togetherness and silence.

You never get over grief; you learn to live with it It might feel like a gut punch to learn that you never truly get over grief, but learning how to live with it is how you will be able to move on. Someone once said that grief is like the stump of a fallen tree. Instead of uprooting it, you plant a garden around it to honor its memory.

Christian Grief Counseling in Mansfield, Texas

Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us through the grieving process. A Christian counselor in Mansfield, Texas could provide a helpful point of view on any of the aspects of grief that you might be struggling with. If you would like to meet with a Christian grief therapist, please contact us today at Texas Christian Counseling, Mansfield and we can connect you with one.