Signs of Anxiety with an Introvert’s Inner Panic of “Can I Call You?”

It starts with a smile text message: “Can I call you?”

Your stomach drops. Can you call me? Can you call me? Your mind immediately answers, “NO!” but your fingers don’t quite let you type out those words. After all, you don’t want to be rude and want to honor God in all things, even something as simple as a text response. But you also dread the idea of a phone call.

If you’re an introvert, an unexpected phone call is about as unnerving as an unexpected visitor knocking on your door during a perfectly peaceful night at home. It helps to notice the signs of anxiety.

The Overanalyze Stage

While your first instinct is to ignore the text, upon further mulling, you realize that would be far too simple. No, your brain must analyze the message from every possible angle. Is it an emergency? Are they mad at me? What do they need that they can’t just text to me? Am I about to get roped into a long conversation?

The Internal Debate

If you haven’t immediately answered the text, you are likely to transition into the great decision step of the process. Time to decide whether you’re going to ignore the text or panic-reply with “Why?” but probably immediately regret it, as it might come across as needy.

You could say “Sure,” but you will likely regret every life choice that led to that moment only seconds later. Of course, throwing your phone into the nearest body of water and living off the grid is an option. A rather harsh and expensive option, however.

Sure, none of these options sounds ideal, but it appears that you are already knee-deep in decision paralysis.

The Escape Attempts

If you’re really committed, you might try some classic introvert avoidance tactics, such as “Sorry, my phone is about to die,” even though it’s at 92%, or “I’m out running errands” as you sit huddled up in your pajamas on the couch.

But you’re a Christian, and you realize that lying isn’t the godly thing to do. And then you silently hate that you have full bars, Wi-Fi, and 5G service, because wouldn’t it be so much simpler if you had bad service?

The Reluctant Yes

After numerous attempts to get yourself out of the phone call, you may realize that you’re stuck. Your fingers huddle over the Y button on your phone. You hesitantly type “Y” and pause before you click “es.” You take a deep breath like a surgeon about to perform an operation and wait for that phone to ring. You’re committed. There’s no turning back. You just hope that they get to the point quickly and don’t veer into unexpected small talk territory.

Help Understanding the Signs of Anxiety

If any of this sounds familiar to you, you may be an introvert with phone avoidance tendencies or reluctance. If “ringxiety” is hampering your life, consider talking with a therapist. A professional therapist can help you learn how to better understand the root cause of your phone anxiety or avoidance.

Perhaps you are worried about saying the wrong thing, or maybe talking just leaves you feeling exhausted. Whatever the root cause of your phone avoidance, your therapist can help you understand and mitigate these causes. So, if phone calls are a major source of stress, remember that therapy can help (and so can turning off your notifications).