Jennifer Kooshian

There may be many similarities across various relationships, but boundaries in relationships will look different in different relationships if they are to flourish. The kind of love that exists between a parent and child doesn’t look the same or work in the same way as that between a husband and wife. At the root of both is love, but that love acts differently in meeting the needs of that relationship. In the same way, each relationship requires boundaries, but what those boundaries are and how they are applied may differ depending on the relationship. However, the key thing is that boundaries are necessary for relationships and the people in them to flourish. What is a boundary? Surely, having boundaries in relationships means that you’re not close with the person? Often, people mistake boundaries for formality or even emotional remoteness. As such, it feels like boundaries are what you have with the people you either don’t like or with whom you’re trying to keep things professional, like your banker or real estate agent. However, boundaries are essential in any relationship, and they help it flourish. Let me explain. In the dictionary of the American Psychological Association (APA), a boundary is defined as a “psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” This boundary marks the line between individuals, telling them apart for the purpose of conducting a meaningful relationship. Without boundaries, you can’t tell who each party in the relationship is, and that’s a big deal, especially because of how our needs and capacities differ. What’s so important about boundaries in relationships? If you take an everyday example, say you have two cars in your household - it matters which [...]