Kate Motaung

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So far Kate Motaung has created 15 blog entries.

Aging in America, Part 1: Planning for Late Adulthood

, 2025-09-12T06:36:52+00:00September 12th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Young adulthood is comprised of people 19-40 years of age, middle adulthood is 40-65 years of age, and late adulthood, or mature adults, are 65+ years of age. According to 2022 statistics, those sixty-five and older are the fastest-growing age group (17.3%) in America, comprising 57.8 million people, which is a 34% increase since 2012. The population under sixty-five increased by only 2% in the same period. This increase is attributed mainly to the baby boomer generation (born between 1946 and 1964), who began turning sixty-five in 2011. America is aging. Aging is a part of God’s plan. As stated in Scripture, “People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades.” 1 Peter 1:24 (NLT) As we age, changes occur physically, emotionally/socially, and cognitively, and while some aspects cannot be controlled, many may be made easier or eliminated by being proactive. Aging is a unique process, and various factors contribute to aging, including genetics, lifestyle, stress, and attitude. Many people do not give thought to aging when they are in their twenties, thirties, or even forties. Often, we wait until these changes begin before we consider developing healthy habits. Adjusting our lifestyle is an individual’s responsibility – no one can do it for us. Understanding and recognizing the changes associated with aging can help you prepare to reduce your risk of disease and disability by developing healthy habits today. Areas to develop healthy habits earlier in life include physical, emotional/social, and cognitive. First, you must understand the changes that occur in each of these areas as you age. Physical The brain shrinks Slower motor behavior which begins in middle adulthood, ages 40-60. Includes decreased muscle strength, flexibility, coordination, and balance. Poor sleeping, which contributes to falls and lower cognitive [...]

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Understanding Dementia and How to Help

, 2025-09-11T12:04:55+00:00September 11th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

What is dementia? Dementia is an umbrella term that encompasses other cognitive declining disorders. These include Alzheimer’s Disease, Vascular Dementia, Lewy Body Dementia, Frontotemporal dementia, and mixed dementia. These different cognitive declines exhibit multiple overlapping symptoms and progression, but there are some variations. According to Webster, dementia is “usually a progressive condition marked by the development of multiple cognitive deficits (as memory impairment, aphasia, and inability to plan and initiate complex behavior).” The Early Signs It is easy to dismiss it as stress or age-related. It is critical to begin addressing it when you see the signs. Your loved one may say things like “I think I am losing it.” Or “Why can’t I remember things like I used to?” You can start the conversation by discussing their concerns and what you’ve observed, and then get a professional evaluation. It could be stress, physiological causes, or purely age-related, but you won’t know until there is an official evaluation by a professional. Whether the person with signs realizes it consciously or not, a natural tendency to cover up occurs when others are around, so it can take some time for others to notice it. It requires spending more time with them and watching their behavior. Research shows that untreated hearing loss is connected to dementia and other cognitive decline. It includes cognitive overload, neural atrophy, and social isolation. As we age, hearing decreases, which in turn affects what our brain processes and how it is stimulated. When our brain is not being used in a certain way, it loses the capacity to function in that way. AARP lists fifteen warning signs of dementia. Short-term memory loss Word loss Difficulty multitasking Repetition Personality Changes New Sleep Behaviors Worsening Sense of Direction Depression Confusion about time and place Difficulty with visual perceptual tasks [...]

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Aging in America Part 2: The Sandwich Generation

, 2025-08-29T06:16:01+00:00August 29th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

In early adulthood (ages 18-40), we are focused on finding a mate, establishing a career, starting a family, and building our social circle. In middle age (ages 40-65), we are raising teenagers, establishing and maintaining our economic standard of living, and adjusting to the changes that come with aging.In older adulthood (age 65+), we enter retirement, experience deaths of family and friends, slow down physically and cognitively, and possibly need to depend on others.One in seven, or 15%, of middle-aged adults will provide financial support for both their parents and children – the older the parent (80+), the more emotional support that is needed. Two-thirds of older adults live with family members, while one-third live alone. 80% of older adults have living children, and daughters are three times more likely to assist aging parents than sons.Our society is experiencing an increasing number of people who are caring for their parents and dependent children simultaneously, which is referred to as the sandwich generation. Many Americans find themselves juggling a job, their parents, and children, including bounce-back kids who return home after a divorce or college. Also, many parents care for or raise grandchildren.Factors contributing to the rise in the sandwich generation include longer life expectancy, having children later in life, the baby boomer generation now being 60-79 years old, and increased support for children over the age of eighteen.Dual caregiving is emotionally and physically demanding, as I found myself in this role several years ago, and I was unprepared for what this season of life would encompass. My journey began on a regular day with my mother’s fall and her broken hip, then, a week later, my dad’s diagnosis of liver cancer, coupled with homeschooling our youngest, and graduate school for me.Although I was fortunate to share the responsibility with a [...]

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Understanding Suicidal Ideation and Self-Harm and How Counseling Can Help

, 2025-08-28T08:50:49+00:00August 28th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The topics in this article are sensitive in nature and are brought up in sessions quite often. Some clients are really hesitant to bring this up out of fear or embarrassment. This is true for Christians as well. In this article, I aim to provide you with some information so that you will better understand what you or someone you know is struggling with and will have a better understanding of how counseling can make a difference. These actions are an attempt to deal with something emotional. When we are in physical pain, we know what to do. If you have a headache, you take a pain medication, and if you have a cut, you put a Band-Aid on it. But with emotional pain, there is no Band-Aid or pain medication to fix, relieve, or cure it. We sometimes attempt to look for ways to escape. Someone begins to struggle with suicidal ideation or self-harm when that load becomes unbearable. What is suicidal ideation? According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “suicidal ideation” is “the act of thinking about or a state of preoccupation with ending one’s own life, the act of considering or planning suicide.” What is self-harm? “The act of purposely hurting oneself as by cutting or burning the skin as an emotional coping mechanism.” I believe some ways are used for self-harm that may not initially feel like harm or be seen as a problem. How does counseling help? Counseling provides a safe place to talk about and work through personal thoughts that are difficult to share with friends or family. Increase your awareness of contributing factors Assist you in gaining healthy coping skills and stress management Support you through it. I have developed a number scale to assist me in determining where clients are in their [...]

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How to Improve Your Sleep and Why it Matters for Your Mental Health: A Look at the Effects of a Lack of Sleep

, 2025-07-19T07:06:45+00:00July 15th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

We can often recognize when someone else has not slept well by observing their physical appearance, energy level, and mood. It is often evident to observe parents of newborns or toddlers who are sleep-deprived. A lack of sleep affects us more than just leaving us tired. When my kids were young, my husband would say, “Naps are wasted on children. They don’t want them but have to have them, and we want them and can’t have them.” Oh, how would we love to have a nap now and then. The National Institute of Health and the National Center on Sleep Disorders agree that we sleep or attempt to sleep for one-third of our lives. That is how crucial sleep is to our health, both physically and mentally. Understanding Sleep To better understand a lack of sleep, we need to understand the stages of sleep. Stage 1: Light sleep. This is a short stage, usually not more than 5% of your total sleep, which begins right after you fall asleep. Stage 2: Deeper sleep. This stage is deeper and makes up about 45% of all the time you spend sleeping (this number goes up as you get older). Research indicates this stage is key in memory storage and learning. Stage 3: Deepest sleep. This stage makes up about 25% of the time you spend sleeping (this number goes down with age). There’s evidence that this stage is the most important for how your body recovers and maintains itself because the brain prioritizes this stage in people with sleep deprivation. It’s quite hard to wake someone up from this stage, and they’ll usually feel foggy or confused for up to thirty minutes after waking up. REM sleep: REM stands for “rapid eye movement.” This stage is when you dream. When a [...]

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How Loss Can Lead to Fear of Abandonment

2025-04-12T04:38:48+00:00April 14th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Loss changes people. The loved ones in our lives are fixtures, part of the furniture of our everyday existence. They make up the social network that helps our lives flourish. When a loss occurs, it has many effects on a person’s well-being. One of the potential effects of loss is developing a fear of abandonment. Fear of abandonment can wreak its own kind of havoc. It’s helpful to know how to process loss well and handle the fears it could produce. How Loss Comes to Us Loss comes to our lives in various ways. Our world is broken. Through unforeseen circumstances, poor choices, a lack of certain skills, or life just being hard, we often find ourselves experiencing loss. All of us have, in one form or another, experienced loss, and it’s one thing among many that we share in common. There are various ways loss occurs in a person’s life, and there are different kinds of loss. You could lose a loved one in death, but that isn’t the only way loss happens. A beloved person might move away, and you lose the relationship gradually. Loss also happens when a married couple separates or divorces, or when friends have conflicts that they aren’t able to resolve. Another way that loss can occur is when someone, like a parent or caregiver, is physically present but emotionally absent in their child’s life. That emotional absence might look like not responding to the child’s needs, not providing the emotional support they need, or not giving them the mental and social stimulation they require. Lastly, loss can also occur when the parent or caregiver is largely or entirely absent from the child’s life. It might be due to a variety of circumstances such as loss of custody; they chose to walk away [...]

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How Trauma Can Affect a Child and the Benefits of Therapy for Children

2025-01-08T07:02:42+00:00April 30th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Whether the result of abuse, neglect, the sudden loss of a loved one, becoming homeless, a natural disaster, or witnessing or experiencing a frightening, violent, or life-threatening event, childhood trauma can have a lasting impact that lasts a lifetime. In this article, we will look at some of the many benefits of trauma therapy for children. Childhood trauma affects the child’s sense of safety and trust, and left untreated, can lead to mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as physical problems such as heart disease or diabetes. Childhood trauma therapy is a specialized form of counseling that provides children with a safe, supportive environment in which they can share what they have experienced, as well as process and come to understand their feelings and have them validated as real and important. It uses talk, play, and creative activities specifically designed to promote healing from the impact of the trauma, resilience, teach the child new, more helpful ways of thinking and feeling about the traumatic event, and equip him or her with healthy coping skills that enable them to deal with triggers and challenging situations. Common symptoms of childhood trauma Separation anxiety. Clinginess. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Loss of appetite. Avoiding things that are reminders of the traumatic event. Acting out. Angry outbursts. Frequent crying. Hypervigilance. Withdrawing from friends. Loss of interest in social activities. Erratic behavior. Trouble concentrating. Self-harming behaviors. Most effective types of therapy for children Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is an evidence-based form of cognitive behavioral therapy that specifically addresses trauma and the child’s ensuing emotional struggles resulting from his or her memory of the traumatic event. TF-CBT also involves the participation of trusted family members and/or caregivers, by teaching them how to actively listen [...]

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Post-Surgery Mental Health: Caring for Yourself After an Operation

2025-01-08T07:03:16+00:00April 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

As you reach your senior years the list of surgeries you might have starts to loom. Joint replacements, intestinal explorations, and possible emergency procedures can happen. Medical practice is a marvel. Many of these surgeries save lives or give the chance for a longer period of active living, but they can take a toll on your post-surgery mental health. There can be fear going into surgery, and loneliness during the recovery period. Some surgeries have a long recovery period, possibly keeping you immobile and confined to your home or short-term care facility. There may be time required with assistive devices such as wheelchairs and walkers. Even this short-term period of reliance on others can prove challenging. Caring for your mental health at this time will help your body heal as well. Physical comfort for post-surgery mental health If you are planning on surgery, you can plan for recovery as well. Arrange your space so that you can easily access things you need. Create a station for power cords to phones and tablets. Have remotes accessible. Make sure the path to the bathroom is cleared of obstacles and find out what you may need to safely take a shower or bath. Pain management is crucial to your post-surgery mental health. Be sure to talk with your doctor about the correct medication timing and dosage. Plan to have ice packs for swelling and a heating pad for other aches and pains. Whatever healing timeline you are given, believe it. Too many people end up hurting themselves by rushing into normal life too quickly. If the doctor says it takes 6 weeks, it takes 6 weeks. The internet makes taking care of practical needs quite simple. Grocery delivery or pickup can save you time, energy, and money. Get pre-made meals in the [...]

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When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

2025-01-08T07:03:53+00:00April 12th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce may feel as though your world has been shattered and your life has come to an abrupt halt. It can affect your sense of self-worth and identity. Divorce, especially for a believer, is often considered more painful than losing a spouse to death. What does the Bible say about it? There is only one written law about divorce in the Bible. It was given to the Israelites by Moses to protect the women of that day. It protected them from being arbitrarily discarded by their husbands and left destitute without any means of support, and from the shame of social stigma that went with divorce. This law allowed a man to write his wife a certificate of divorce if she did not please him, leaving her free to marry another man (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). He could not just send her away without it. In the New Testament, when the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus into providing a black-and-white answer as to where He stood on this Old Testament law regarding divorce, Jesus told them that it was never what God intended. “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV When they further pressed Him as to why then Moses commanded that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. – Matthew 19:4-8, NIV Biblical grounds for a Christian [...]

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Helpful Bible Verses about Love and Marriage

2025-01-08T07:04:26+00:00August 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Love and marriage are many things – complicated, beautiful, hard, and joyful. Each marriage is a world unto itself, and the couple in that relationship are shaped profoundly by it for the rest of their lives. There is no doubt that when God gave marriage to humanity as a gift, it was a good gift intended for our good. However, we would be naïve if we didn’t recognize that our lives beyond Eden makemarriage a complicated gift that takes deft hands to handle. In a sense, a healthy and successful marriage can be boiled down to a few things. Mignon McLaughlin once stated, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Falling in love must often be deliberate because many things conspire against enjoying one’s spouse and continuing to delight in them. We can find many pointers in the Bible about marriage and how best to handle this gift. Bible Verses about Love and Marriage How do you feel about yourself? We often have complicated relationships with our bodies, but a healthy relationship with ourselves will often entail taking care of our bodies, appreciating what our bodies can do, and avoiding unhealthy comparisons between our bodies and those of others. That idea can help couples consider an important aspect of what the Bible says about married life. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one [...]

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