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How Trauma Can Affect a Child and the Benefits of Therapy for Children

How Trauma Can Affect a Child and the Benefits of Therapy for Children

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:49:17+00:00April 30th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Whether the result of abuse, neglect, the sudden loss of a loved one, becoming homeless, a natural disaster, or witnessing or experiencing a frightening, violent, or life-threatening event, childhood trauma can have a lasting impact that lasts a lifetime. In this article, we will look at some of the many benefits of trauma therapy for children. Childhood trauma affects the child’s sense of safety and trust, and left untreated, can lead to mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as physical problems such as heart disease or diabetes. Childhood trauma therapy is a specialized form of counseling that provides children with a safe, supportive environment in which they can share what they have experienced, as well as process and come to understand their feelings and have them validated as real and important. It uses talk, play, and creative activities specifically designed to promote healing from the impact of the trauma, resilience, teach the child new, more helpful ways of thinking and feeling about the traumatic event, and equip him or her with healthy coping skills that enable them to deal with triggers and challenging situations. Common symptoms of childhood trauma Separation anxiety. Clinginess. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Loss of appetite. Avoiding things that are reminders of the traumatic event. Acting out. Angry outbursts. Frequent crying. Hypervigilance. Withdrawing from friends. Loss of interest in social activities. Erratic behavior. Trouble concentrating. Self-harming behaviors. Most effective types of therapy for children Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is an evidence-based form of cognitive behavioral therapy that specifically addresses trauma and the child’s ensuing emotional struggles resulting from his or her memory of the traumatic event. TF-CBT also involves the participation of trusted family members and/or caregivers, by teaching them how to actively listen [...]

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Post-Surgery Mental Health: Caring for Yourself After an Operation

Post-Surgery Mental Health: Caring for Yourself After an Operation

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:09+00:00April 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

As you reach your senior years the list of surgeries you might have starts to loom. Joint replacements, intestinal explorations, and possible emergency procedures can happen. Medical practice is a marvel. Many of these surgeries save lives or give the chance for a longer period of active living, but they can take a toll on your post-surgery mental health. There can be fear going into surgery, and loneliness during the recovery period. Some surgeries have a long recovery period, possibly keeping you immobile and confined to your home or short-term care facility. There may be time required with assistive devices such as wheelchairs and walkers. Even this short-term period of reliance on others can prove challenging. Caring for your mental health at this time will help your body heal as well. Physical comfort for post-surgery mental health If you are planning on surgery, you can plan for recovery as well. Arrange your space so that you can easily access things you need. Create a station for power cords to phones and tablets. Have remotes accessible. Make sure the path to the bathroom is cleared of obstacles and find out what you may need to safely take a shower or bath. Pain management is crucial to your post-surgery mental health. Be sure to talk with your doctor about the correct medication timing and dosage. Plan to have ice packs for swelling and a heating pad for other aches and pains. Whatever healing timeline you are given, believe it. Too many people end up hurting themselves by rushing into normal life too quickly. If the doctor says it takes 6 weeks, it takes 6 weeks. The internet makes taking care of practical needs quite simple. Grocery delivery or pickup can save you time, energy, and money. Get pre-made meals in the [...]

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When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:16+00:00April 12th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce may feel as though your world has been shattered and your life has come to an abrupt halt. It can affect your sense of self-worth and identity. Divorce, especially for a believer, is often considered more painful than losing a spouse to death. What does the Bible say about it? There is only one written law about divorce in the Bible. It was given to the Israelites by Moses to protect the women of that day. It protected them from being arbitrarily discarded by their husbands and left destitute without any means of support, and from the shame of social stigma that went with divorce. This law allowed a man to write his wife a certificate of divorce if she did not please him, leaving her free to marry another man (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). He could not just send her away without it. In the New Testament, when the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus into providing a black-and-white answer as to where He stood on this Old Testament law regarding divorce, Jesus told them that it was never what God intended. “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV When they further pressed Him as to why then Moses commanded that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. – Matthew 19:4-8, NIV Biblical grounds for a Christian [...]

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The Third Party in Infidelity

The Third Party in Infidelity

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:42:58+00:00January 9th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Relationship Issues|

When we talk about infidelity, we tend to focus on those who were cheated on and those who cheated. We look at the “couple” in the situation; the straying spouse and the one they hurt. But infidelity requires a third person, and we often overlook how an affair can affect them. It can be just as damaging and difficult to process being the “other person” involved in an affair. In TV and movies, the other person often doesn’t have any residual emotions. The plot revolves around the couple, and the other person is just there to create tension. But what about the person left behind when the person in a relationship goes home? There can be feelings of guilt or questioning if what we are doing is right. There can be anxiety over getting caught. There can be loss and hurt if the other person decides to stay with their spouse. If the third party did not know their lover was married, that can lead to emotions they never had to consider before finding out the truth. Infidelity is complicated and multifaceted. There are reasons people seek sex outside of their marriage. There are reasons why people willingly enter into a relationship with someone they know to be married. However carnal we pretend sex to be, there are emotions and attachments behind the act. An affair carries with it a certain amount of weight regardless of how cavalier people (and society) choose to be. The level of intimacy can affect a person in an affair. Casual hook-ups from online dating sites versus carrying on as if you were a couple bring with them different emotions and attachments. A counselor can help unpack what is going on. When the affair is over, or even when it’s going on, it is [...]

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12 Common Signs of Male Depression

12 Common Signs of Male Depression

Mansfield Christian Counseling2023-12-07T14:13:43+00:00December 6th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Male depression is very real, and most men try to ignore the issue. Depression in men does look a little different than it does in women. The most common difference is that depression may look like anger, and this can lead to difficulty in recognizing the problem. Women need to learn how to identify the signs and what to do to help the men in their lives. Signs of Male Depression Irrational anger or inappropriate frustration. Most men who experience depression will commonly display episodes of anger. Becoming frustrated quickly can also indicate there is a struggle with male depression. Low energy/poor concentration. When people experience depression, they will often lack energy due to improper resting habits. Poor concentration is sometimes a result of a lack of quality sleep. Feeling hopeless and empty. Depression is the leading cause of feeling hopeless and having a pessimistic outlook. This isn’t just a form of sadness; it is a chronic feeling of despair. Escapist behavior. When men find ways to block out how they feel is it referred to as escaping. They try to block out what is going on by not facing the reality of the situation. Physical symptoms. It is typically harder for men to share their emotions and concerns about those emotions. They find it easier to explain the physical symptoms they are experiencing. These symptoms can include: Headaches. Body aches. Digestive problems. Heart palpitations/heart racing. Tightness in the chest. Lack of sleep. When a person exhibits depression, they may have trouble falling and staying asleep. This is a major indication of male depression. Lack of sleep is also a factor in the risk of having suicidal tendencies. Self-medication or risky behavior. Some men who suffer from male depression will engage in behaviors that are not normal for their [...]

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How You Can Help Support Typical Teenage Problems

How You Can Help Support Typical Teenage Problems

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:43:12+00:00November 16th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

This article is meant to communicate two things. Firstly, how to establish open communication with your teen. Secondly, how to maintain it. Both points may feel difficult or impossible, especially when we reflect on our relationship with our parents during our teenage years. But as parents, we must recognize that exploring boundaries is something our children have done since being toddlers and is perfectly normal, regardless of the teenage problems that arise. Now that our teens are older and faced with greater and more toxic pressures than we were exposed to at the same age and stage, we must learn new ways to balance the risks to health and well-being they may be exposed to. As parents one of our main jobs is to launch our children out of the nest and have them fly. As we give them more and more freedom in their teen years, and the curfews get later and allowances give them more disposable spending, we should make sure that we can check in with them in a manner that builds trust and honest communication. Teens need a platform to reveal their concerns, and a loving parent and family member is a good and safe space for this to happen. Here are some ways we can support our children as they face typical teenage problems. Make sure your communication is healthy to overcome teenage problems. Communication is a two-way street. Not only will you speak with your teen, but you also have to listen to them as well. If they are taught that their job is to shut up and listen, then why would they share what is on their heart? If we keep interrupting them with solutions and instructions on how to run their lives it shows that not only do we not trust [...]

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Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:45:11+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There may be many similarities across various relationships, but boundaries in relationships will look different in different relationships if they are to flourish. The kind of love that exists between a parent and child doesn’t look the same or work in the same way as that between a husband and wife. At the root of both is love, but that love acts differently in meeting the needs of that relationship. In the same way, each relationship requires boundaries, but what those boundaries are and how they are applied may differ depending on the relationship. However, the key thing is that boundaries are necessary for relationships and the people in them to flourish. What is a boundary? Surely, having boundaries in relationships means that you’re not close with the person? Often, people mistake boundaries for formality or even emotional remoteness. As such, it feels like boundaries are what you have with the people you either don’t like or with whom you’re trying to keep things professional, like your banker or real estate agent. However, boundaries are essential in any relationship, and they help it flourish. Let me explain. In the dictionary of the American Psychological Association (APA), a boundary is defined as a “psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” This boundary marks the line between individuals, telling them apart for the purpose of conducting a meaningful relationship. Without boundaries, you can’t tell who each party in the relationship is, and that’s a big deal, especially because of how our needs and capacities differ. What’s so important about boundaries in relationships? If you take an everyday example, say you have two cars in your household - it matters which [...]

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Helpful Bible Verses about Love and Marriage

Helpful Bible Verses about Love and Marriage

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:37+00:00August 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Love and marriage are many things – complicated, beautiful, hard, and joyful. Each marriage is a world unto itself, and the couple in that relationship are shaped profoundly by it for the rest of their lives. There is no doubt that when God gave marriage to humanity as a gift, it was a good gift intended for our good. However, we would be naïve if we didn’t recognize that our lives beyond Eden makemarriage a complicated gift that takes deft hands to handle. In a sense, a healthy and successful marriage can be boiled down to a few things. Mignon McLaughlin once stated, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Falling in love must often be deliberate because many things conspire against enjoying one’s spouse and continuing to delight in them. We can find many pointers in the Bible about marriage and how best to handle this gift. Bible Verses about Love and Marriage How do you feel about yourself? We often have complicated relationships with our bodies, but a healthy relationship with ourselves will often entail taking care of our bodies, appreciating what our bodies can do, and avoiding unhealthy comparisons between our bodies and those of others. That idea can help couples consider an important aspect of what the Bible says about married life. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one [...]

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Important Signs of Early Onset Dementia to Look Out For

Important Signs of Early Onset Dementia to Look Out For

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:47+00:00August 3rd, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

One unfortunate but inevitable fact of our existence is that our bodies deteriorate over time. Getting older reflects in our bodies, and wear and tear occur at every stage of our lives. People don’t all age the same way, whether physically or mentally, and it’s important to keep a close handle on your health so that any interventions for early onset dementia are made early and at their most effective. What is dementia? Dementia is not a specific disease, but it names a cluster of symptoms that affect a person’s memory, thinking, speaking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with them enjoying and living out their daily life. Damage to or loss of nerve cells and their connections in the brain is the typical root cause of dementia. Several diseases can cause dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of progressive dementia in older adults. While Alzheimer’s typically affects older adults, it can also affect people in their thirties or forties. Dementia affects people differently and causes different symptoms depending on the region of the brain that’s affected. Some dementias are progressive, meaning that they are not reversible. Alzheimer’s disease is one of these, along with Lewy body dementia and vascular dementia. Other types of dementia, such as that caused by nutritional deficiencies, or as a side effect of medications, can be reversed with treatment. You must see a medical professional as soon as possible for an assessment and proper diagnosis if you encounter the symptoms of dementia. Signs of early onset dementia The early signs of dementia may vary between individuals as well as depending on the cause and type of dementia one is suffering, but there are some common early symptoms, and these include the following: Having difficulty with your visual and spatial abilities, [...]

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Blessing of Belonging: Navigating Chemical Dependency and Connection with God

Blessing of Belonging: Navigating Chemical Dependency and Connection with God

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:55+00:00July 5th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Every human has been created with the innate desire to be seen and known, but invisibility often seems easier in light of our unique challenges with the sin and weights that have burdened us. We retreat, hiding parts of ourselves, our history, and the testimony that the Lord is building within. Being a maverick or a loner doesn’t demand the engagement and intimacy that comes through a raw relationship, but rather intensifies isolation and separates us from the help and strength that multiplies in healthy relationships. While we might want to shield ourselves from vulnerability, God created us for community with Him and each other. Regardless of our struggle, whether dependence on a chemical substance or another form of addiction, the benefit of being known also comes with risk. In the space where we want to connect, transparency makes us vulnerable. That doesn’t mean that we run from community, however. We have to allow for authenticity that invites meaningful connection and forges a foundation for life-giving relationships. Jesus is the head of one Church, one Body; we are the many parts who receive grace to grow, as we learn and live together (1 Corinthians 12:12, 27). It’s through the working of the Spirit that our lives teach and testify to one another, and ultimately, the world, of the Father’s goodness. Prodigals and pigpens and chemical dependency We may have wandered as prodigals into the pigpens where chemical dependency produced behaviors we never thought we’d see in ourselves. Yet, we don’t have to rehearse these stories. We can trade the shame for the enduring testimony and the robe of righteousness, ring of authority, and shoes of peace that our Father wants to give us. No drug or high can deeply satisfy our innate needs of being seen, known, and loved. Instead, [...]

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