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Understanding Suicidal Ideation and Self-Harm and How Counseling Can Help

Understanding Suicidal Ideation and Self-Harm and How Counseling Can Help

Jana Tatum, Kate Motaung2025-08-28T08:50:49+00:00August 28th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The topics in this article are sensitive in nature and are brought up in sessions quite often. Some clients are really hesitant to bring this up out of fear or embarrassment. This is true for Christians as well. In this article, I aim to provide you with some information so that you will better understand what you or someone you know is struggling with and will have a better understanding of how counseling can make a difference. These actions are an attempt to deal with something emotional. When we are in physical pain, we know what to do. If you have a headache, you take a pain medication, and if you have a cut, you put a Band-Aid on it. But with emotional pain, there is no Band-Aid or pain medication to fix, relieve, or cure it. We sometimes attempt to look for ways to escape. Someone begins to struggle with suicidal ideation or self-harm when that load becomes unbearable. What is suicidal ideation? According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “suicidal ideation” is “the act of thinking about or a state of preoccupation with ending one’s own life, the act of considering or planning suicide.” What is self-harm? “The act of purposely hurting oneself as by cutting or burning the skin as an emotional coping mechanism.” I believe some ways are used for self-harm that may not initially feel like harm or be seen as a problem. How does counseling help? Counseling provides a safe place to talk about and work through personal thoughts that are difficult to share with friends or family. Increase your awareness of contributing factors Assist you in gaining healthy coping skills and stress management Support you through it. I have developed a number scale to assist me in determining where clients are in their [...]

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Easing ADHD Symptoms in Adults

Easing ADHD Symptoms in Adults

Melissa Plantz2025-08-12T08:37:56+00:00August 12th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) affects roughly 15 million adults in the United States, according to the CDC. That does not count adults who have not been diagnosed. ADHD symptoms in adults are more common than we realize, yet people suffer daily at home and in the workplace because the mental condition is not often spoken about. Perhaps it is because many people consider ADHD to be a condition for “unruly” children, or that they do not understand how ADHD symptoms in adults can affect their daily life. Tips for Easing ADHD Symptoms in Adults You have work to do, family life to manage, relationships to nurture, and dreams to bring to life; you do not have time to be bogged down by ADHD symptoms as an adult. Yet, millions of Americans struggle with daily life because of the symptoms. From lack of focus to disorganization, the symptoms can disrupt your life if you don’t have a plan to minimize the effects. The following is a list of ADHD symptoms in adults and what you can do to manage them. Unfocused Probably the most well-known ADHD symptom in adults is the inability to focus and concentrate on tasks. This can affect your job if you jump from project to project and finish nothing. Relationship issues can stem from being unable to stay focused long enough to actively listen to your spouse or children. Tasks such as cooking and cleaning can seem like they take an impossible long time because you tend to bounce between other activities or get distracted easily. A structured routine can help you stay focused on tasks. You may need to set a timer for a short amount of time, like 15 or 25 minutes. For example, set the timer for 25 minutes to concentrate on a [...]

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How to Improve Your Sleep and Why it Matters for Your Mental Health: A Look at the Effects of a Lack of Sleep

How to Improve Your Sleep and Why it Matters for Your Mental Health: A Look at the Effects of a Lack of Sleep

Jana Tatum, Kate Motaung2025-07-19T07:06:45+00:00July 15th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

We can often recognize when someone else has not slept well by observing their physical appearance, energy level, and mood. It is often evident to observe parents of newborns or toddlers who are sleep-deprived. A lack of sleep affects us more than just leaving us tired. When my kids were young, my husband would say, “Naps are wasted on children. They don’t want them but have to have them, and we want them and can’t have them.” Oh, how would we love to have a nap now and then. The National Institute of Health and the National Center on Sleep Disorders agree that we sleep or attempt to sleep for one-third of our lives. That is how crucial sleep is to our health, both physically and mentally. Understanding Sleep To better understand a lack of sleep, we need to understand the stages of sleep. Stage 1: Light sleep. This is a short stage, usually not more than 5% of your total sleep, which begins right after you fall asleep. Stage 2: Deeper sleep. This stage is deeper and makes up about 45% of all the time you spend sleeping (this number goes up as you get older). Research indicates this stage is key in memory storage and learning. Stage 3: Deepest sleep. This stage makes up about 25% of the time you spend sleeping (this number goes down with age). There’s evidence that this stage is the most important for how your body recovers and maintains itself because the brain prioritizes this stage in people with sleep deprivation. It’s quite hard to wake someone up from this stage, and they’ll usually feel foggy or confused for up to thirty minutes after waking up. REM sleep: REM stands for “rapid eye movement.” This stage is when you dream. When a [...]

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Why are Menopause and Anxiety Related?

Why are Menopause and Anxiety Related?

Grace Mavindidze2025-05-09T06:23:04+00:00May 9th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

As a woman, you reach that inevitable phase of life that signals the natural end of fertility. This may trigger many complex emotions. Menopause is generally defined as when a woman has gone twelve consecutive months without menstruating. Before this, many women experience an extended perimenopause period with on-and-off symptoms popping up. This can lead to anxiety. Are there other connections between menopause and anxiety? Experts don’t believe that menopause necessarily causes anxiety, but there is a common connection between menopause and anxiety. The complex feelings surrounding menopause, end of fertility, and fluctuating hormones, can easily elicit anxiety. Many women who are well known for being unshakable stalwarts of strength, fortitude, and resilience throughout their lives are blindsided by the onset of this phase in their lives. There is a lot of awareness around the physical changes that come with menopause, such as: Irregular Menstrual Cycles As menopause approaches, periods may become irregular, shorter, or skipped altogether. Heavy Bleeding Some women experience heavy bleeding for a day or two their period or even outside their regular period. Excessive Sweating at Night Known as night sweats, these can disrupt sleep. Hot Flashes. Sudden feelings of intense heat are often accompanied by sweating and flushing. Vaginal Dryness and Pain Reduced estrogen levels can lead to discomfort during sexual intercourse. Urinary Tract Infections Some women may experience more frequent UTIs. Mood Swings And Fatigue Hormonal changes can impact mood and energy levels. Weight Gain Uneven fat distribution may lead to weight gain. Though these symptoms are commonly known, what is an often-overlooked aspect of this transition is the emotional and mental changes. Indeed, most women report wondering why they suddenly felt the same way they did when they were a hormonal teenager, with moods swings, irritability, and feeling down. The fact is [...]

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How Loss Can Lead to Fear of Abandonment

How Loss Can Lead to Fear of Abandonment

Kate Motaung2025-11-26T12:41:17+00:00April 14th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Loss changes people. The loved ones in our lives are fixtures, part of the furniture of our everyday existence. They make up the social network that helps our lives flourish. When a loss occurs, it has many effects on a person’s well-being. One of the potential effects of loss is developing a fear of abandonment. Fear of abandonment can wreak its own kind of havoc. It’s helpful to know how to process loss well and handle the fears it could produce. How Loss Comes to Us Loss comes to our lives in various ways. Our world is broken. Through unforeseen circumstances, poor choices, a lack of certain skills, or life just being hard, we often find ourselves experiencing loss. All of us have, in one form or another, experienced loss, and it’s one thing among many that we share in common. There are various ways loss occurs in a person’s life, and there are different kinds of loss. You could lose a loved one in death, but that isn’t the only way loss happens. A beloved person might move away, and you lose the relationship gradually. Loss also happens when a married couple separates or divorces, or when friends have conflicts that they aren’t able to resolve. Another way that loss can occur is when someone, like a parent or caregiver, is physically present but emotionally absent in their child’s life. That emotional absence might look like not responding to the child’s needs, not providing the emotional support they need, or not giving them the mental and social stimulation they require. Lastly, loss can also occur when the parent or caregiver is largely or entirely absent from the child’s life. It might be due to a variety of circumstances such as loss of custody; they chose to walk away [...]

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10 Important Things To Know About the Grieving Process

10 Important Things To Know About the Grieving Process

Wade Van Staden2025-05-09T05:19:49+00:00April 7th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Even when you have anticipated it for some time, grief is always a complicated experience. You will experience things while grieving that will never be repeated at any other time of your life, from awful loneliness and longing to absolute joy and love as you remember. There is no easy guide to the grieving process, but certain things are helpful to keep in mind as you navigate this difficult journey. 10 Things to Know about the Grieving Process There are no stages to grief For a long time, people were taught that there were five stages to grief, namely shock, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While many people do go through many of these stages, grief is not a linear process. We might feel angry and depressed simultaneously for weeks, or cycle through these stages in a jumbled order for months. Grief is a complicated, messy process that is unique for everyone. It only gets more difficult when you try to apply stages to it. Grief can be exhausting Grief can be physically, emotionally, and mentally draining to go through. From practical logistics during and after the funeral, to questions about life, death, and beyond, grief touches every aspect of your life. It demands that you engage in it with your body, emotions, and mind. Grief is not for the faint of heart, and yet that is exactly the state we are in during grief. Memories are a double-edged sword Many people shy away from thinking about the loved one they lost because the memories can be painful. On the other hand, memories keep them alive, if only in your heart. It can be hard to allow yourself to reminisce, and it can be equally difficult to stop thinking about them once you’ve started. There is no easy answer [...]

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How Trauma Can Affect a Child and the Benefits of Therapy for Children

How Trauma Can Affect a Child and the Benefits of Therapy for Children

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:02:42+00:00April 30th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Whether the result of abuse, neglect, the sudden loss of a loved one, becoming homeless, a natural disaster, or witnessing or experiencing a frightening, violent, or life-threatening event, childhood trauma can have a lasting impact that lasts a lifetime. In this article, we will look at some of the many benefits of trauma therapy for children. Childhood trauma affects the child’s sense of safety and trust, and left untreated, can lead to mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as physical problems such as heart disease or diabetes. Childhood trauma therapy is a specialized form of counseling that provides children with a safe, supportive environment in which they can share what they have experienced, as well as process and come to understand their feelings and have them validated as real and important. It uses talk, play, and creative activities specifically designed to promote healing from the impact of the trauma, resilience, teach the child new, more helpful ways of thinking and feeling about the traumatic event, and equip him or her with healthy coping skills that enable them to deal with triggers and challenging situations. Common symptoms of childhood trauma Separation anxiety. Clinginess. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Loss of appetite. Avoiding things that are reminders of the traumatic event. Acting out. Angry outbursts. Frequent crying. Hypervigilance. Withdrawing from friends. Loss of interest in social activities. Erratic behavior. Trouble concentrating. Self-harming behaviors. Most effective types of therapy for children Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is an evidence-based form of cognitive behavioral therapy that specifically addresses trauma and the child’s ensuing emotional struggles resulting from his or her memory of the traumatic event. TF-CBT also involves the participation of trusted family members and/or caregivers, by teaching them how to actively listen [...]

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Post-Surgery Mental Health: Caring for Yourself After an Operation

Post-Surgery Mental Health: Caring for Yourself After an Operation

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:03:16+00:00April 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

As you reach your senior years the list of surgeries you might have starts to loom. Joint replacements, intestinal explorations, and possible emergency procedures can happen. Medical practice is a marvel. Many of these surgeries save lives or give the chance for a longer period of active living, but they can take a toll on your post-surgery mental health. There can be fear going into surgery, and loneliness during the recovery period. Some surgeries have a long recovery period, possibly keeping you immobile and confined to your home or short-term care facility. There may be time required with assistive devices such as wheelchairs and walkers. Even this short-term period of reliance on others can prove challenging. Caring for your mental health at this time will help your body heal as well. Physical comfort for post-surgery mental health If you are planning on surgery, you can plan for recovery as well. Arrange your space so that you can easily access things you need. Create a station for power cords to phones and tablets. Have remotes accessible. Make sure the path to the bathroom is cleared of obstacles and find out what you may need to safely take a shower or bath. Pain management is crucial to your post-surgery mental health. Be sure to talk with your doctor about the correct medication timing and dosage. Plan to have ice packs for swelling and a heating pad for other aches and pains. Whatever healing timeline you are given, believe it. Too many people end up hurting themselves by rushing into normal life too quickly. If the doctor says it takes 6 weeks, it takes 6 weeks. The internet makes taking care of practical needs quite simple. Grocery delivery or pickup can save you time, energy, and money. Get pre-made meals in the [...]

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When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:03:53+00:00April 12th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce may feel as though your world has been shattered and your life has come to an abrupt halt. It can affect your sense of self-worth and identity. Divorce, especially for a believer, is often considered more painful than losing a spouse to death. What does the Bible say about it? There is only one written law about divorce in the Bible. It was given to the Israelites by Moses to protect the women of that day. It protected them from being arbitrarily discarded by their husbands and left destitute without any means of support, and from the shame of social stigma that went with divorce. This law allowed a man to write his wife a certificate of divorce if she did not please him, leaving her free to marry another man (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). He could not just send her away without it. In the New Testament, when the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus into providing a black-and-white answer as to where He stood on this Old Testament law regarding divorce, Jesus told them that it was never what God intended. “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV When they further pressed Him as to why then Moses commanded that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. – Matthew 19:4-8, NIV Biblical grounds for a Christian [...]

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The Third Party in Infidelity

The Third Party in Infidelity

Jennifer Kooshian2025-10-11T08:54:34+00:00January 9th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Relationship Issues|

When we talk about infidelity, we tend to focus on those who were cheated on and those who cheated. We look at the “couple” in the situation; the straying spouse and the one they hurt. But infidelity requires a third person, and we often overlook how an affair can affect them. It can be just as damaging and difficult to process being the “other person” involved in an affair. In TV and movies, the other person often doesn’t have any residual emotions. The plot revolves around the couple, and the other person is just there to create tension. But what about the person left behind when the person in a relationship goes home? There can be feelings of guilt or questioning if what we are doing is right. There can be anxiety over getting caught. There can be loss and hurt if the other person decides to stay with their spouse. If the third party did not know their lover was married, that can lead to emotions they never had to consider before finding out the truth. Infidelity is complicated and multifaceted. There are reasons people seek sex outside of their marriage. There are reasons why people willingly enter into a relationship with someone they know to be married. However carnal we pretend sex to be, there are emotions and attachments behind the act. An affair carries with it a certain amount of weight regardless of how cavalier people (and society) choose to be. The level of intimacy can affect a person in an affair. Casual hook-ups from online dating sites versus carrying on as if you were a couple bring with them different emotions and attachments. A counselor can help unpack what is going on. When the affair is over, or even when it’s going on, it is [...]

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