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Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Jennifer Kooshian2025-10-11T08:55:10+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There may be many similarities across various relationships, but boundaries in relationships will look different in different relationships if they are to flourish. The kind of love that exists between a parent and child doesn’t look the same or work in the same way as that between a husband and wife. At the root of both is love, but that love acts differently in meeting the needs of that relationship. In the same way, each relationship requires boundaries, but what those boundaries are and how they are applied may differ depending on the relationship. However, the key thing is that boundaries are necessary for relationships and the people in them to flourish. What is a boundary? Surely, having boundaries in relationships means that you’re not close with the person? Often, people mistake boundaries for formality or even emotional remoteness. As such, it feels like boundaries are what you have with the people you either don’t like or with whom you’re trying to keep things professional, like your banker or real estate agent. However, boundaries are essential in any relationship, and they help it flourish. Let me explain. In the dictionary of the American Psychological Association (APA), a boundary is defined as a “psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” This boundary marks the line between individuals, telling them apart for the purpose of conducting a meaningful relationship. Without boundaries, you can’t tell who each party in the relationship is, and that’s a big deal, especially because of how our needs and capacities differ. What’s so important about boundaries in relationships? If you take an everyday example, say you have two cars in your household - it matters which [...]

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Important Signs of Early Onset Dementia to Look Out For

Important Signs of Early Onset Dementia to Look Out For

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:04:59+00:00August 3rd, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

One unfortunate but inevitable fact of our existence is that our bodies deteriorate over time. Getting older reflects in our bodies, and wear and tear occur at every stage of our lives. People don’t all age the same way, whether physically or mentally, and it’s important to keep a close handle on your health so that any interventions for early onset dementia are made early and at their most effective. What is dementia? Dementia is not a specific disease, but it names a cluster of symptoms that affect a person’s memory, thinking, speaking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with them enjoying and living out their daily life. Damage to or loss of nerve cells and their connections in the brain is the typical root cause of dementia. Several diseases can cause dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of progressive dementia in older adults. While Alzheimer’s typically affects older adults, it can also affect people in their thirties or forties. Dementia affects people differently and causes different symptoms depending on the region of the brain that’s affected. Some dementias are progressive, meaning that they are not reversible. Alzheimer’s disease is one of these, along with Lewy body dementia and vascular dementia. Other types of dementia, such as that caused by nutritional deficiencies, or as a side effect of medications, can be reversed with treatment. You must see a medical professional as soon as possible for an assessment and proper diagnosis if you encounter the symptoms of dementia. Signs of early onset dementia The early signs of dementia may vary between individuals as well as depending on the cause and type of dementia one is suffering, but there are some common early symptoms, and these include the following: Having difficulty with your visual and spatial abilities, [...]

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Blessing of Belonging: Navigating Chemical Dependency and Connection with God

Blessing of Belonging: Navigating Chemical Dependency and Connection with God

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:05:36+00:00July 5th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Every human has been created with the innate desire to be seen and known, but invisibility often seems easier in light of our unique challenges with the sin and weights that have burdened us. We retreat, hiding parts of ourselves, our history, and the testimony that the Lord is building within. Being a maverick or a loner doesn’t demand the engagement and intimacy that comes through a raw relationship, but rather intensifies isolation and separates us from the help and strength that multiplies in healthy relationships. While we might want to shield ourselves from vulnerability, God created us for community with Him and each other. Regardless of our struggle, whether dependence on a chemical substance or another form of addiction, the benefit of being known also comes with risk. In the space where we want to connect, transparency makes us vulnerable. That doesn’t mean that we run from community, however. We have to allow for authenticity that invites meaningful connection and forges a foundation for life-giving relationships. Jesus is the head of one Church, one Body; we are the many parts who receive grace to grow, as we learn and live together (1 Corinthians 12:12, 27). It’s through the working of the Spirit that our lives teach and testify to one another, and ultimately, the world, of the Father’s goodness. Prodigals and pigpens and chemical dependency We may have wandered as prodigals into the pigpens where chemical dependency produced behaviors we never thought we’d see in ourselves. Yet, we don’t have to rehearse these stories. We can trade the shame for the enduring testimony and the robe of righteousness, ring of authority, and shoes of peace that our Father wants to give us. No drug or high can deeply satisfy our innate needs of being seen, known, and loved. Instead, [...]

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What Is the Difference Between Trauma and PTSD?

What Is the Difference Between Trauma and PTSD?

Mansfield Christian Counseling2023-10-19T17:13:47+00:00July 3rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

If you or a loved one has experienced a stressful event, you might be wondering what the difference is between trauma and PTSD. In this article, we will break down what trauma and PTSD are, including why they are different. What is trauma? The diagnostic manual used by psychotherapists to diagnose and treat conditions is called the DSM-5 for short. In it, trauma is delineated from a stressful event in that it must include “actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.” With this definition, it is easy to see that trauma itself can be a one-time event. Individuals who experience a traumatic event certainly can have PTSD but not always. What is PTSD? One of the most recent changes to the definition of post-traumatic stress disorder is that it no longer is grouped with anxiety disorders. The person with PTSD experiences a range of emotions, not limited to anxiety, so PTSD is now considered a trauma disorder. PTSD is when a person has experienced trauma and then struggles to recover from it. There is a wide range of symptoms that a person with PTSD experiences. What qualifies as PTSD? To be diagnosed with PTSD rather than simply trauma, an individual must experience An inability to function in everyday life, such as work, parent responsibly, and/or take part in simple functions such as self-care. Symptoms that impact a person’s livelihood and occur for more than a month after the traumatic event occurs. If you have undergone trauma, but your everyday life and ability to function aren’t impacted negatively for at least one month after, it is wise to seek a trauma-informed counselor. You likely don’t have PTSD. However, it is important not to self-diagnose or assume that your trauma isn’t serious enough for treatment. All trauma benefits from psychological [...]

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Bettering Your Character with Spiritual Self-Improvement

Bettering Your Character with Spiritual Self-Improvement

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:06:05+00:00June 30th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

You are typically known by your character and reputation. When people speak of you or your reputation, what do they say? Are you someone they can trust? Are you reliable? Do you stand up for those who have no voice when you see injustice? These character traits influence not only how the world sees us but how we see ourselves. When you align your character with Christ, you will see a natural boost in your confidence and self-esteem. Following God leads to self-improvement. Character matters in self-improvement. Being righteous and honest extends into every area of your life. When you are honest, upstanding, loyal, compassionate, kind, and loving behind closed doors in your personal life, you are more likely to exhibit these traits to the public. Although some people lead a different life in private, God knows the heart and sees everything. God wants you to display His traits all the time. To accomplish this, you must grow into a godly character. Tips for building your character. Have you ever known someone who could not be trusted? Maybe this person believed they were outside of the rules. They may have cheated on their spouse, demanded too much from their employees, or broken the law. They acted impulsively and, sometimes, violently. You could not believe anything this person said, and there seemed to be a motive behind every one of their actions. If they did something good for someone, they wanted something in return. This example shows that we are not born with good character. Childhood experiences and perceptions can take us down another path. However, we have the power through Christ to reorient ourselves. This is where spiritual self-improvement becomes a conscious choice. Face your trials and challenges. Trials and challenges, as unwelcome as they may appear, can build [...]

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The Benefits Of Journal Writing

The Benefits Of Journal Writing

Mansfield Christian Counseling2023-05-29T18:30:19+00:00May 27th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

In a world that is busy, fast-paced, and constantly in need of our attention it is hard to find time to catch up with ourselves. It is easy to see one day turn into weeks, into months, and even years before we take time to catch up with who we are, whom we are becoming, and what direction we hope to take. This is where journal writing comes in. It may start to feel like our lives are on autopilot, one day rolling into the next without much thought. A way to stop all that and refocus is journaling. Journaling is the intentional process of putting thoughts, feelings, and experiences onto paper. Why do people journal? Journaling has many benefits since it awards us the opportunity to examine how we are living and take note of areas that need improvement or areas to celebrate. In the therapeutic world, journaling has been seen to promote healthy living in that it helps reduce stress and anxiety thereby boosting well-being. Below are some benefits of Journal writing: Mindfulness. Journal writing creates order and seeks clarity in a world that often feels chaotic. By setting aside time, and looking for a quiet and secluded space, one gets to be mindful and calm for the duration of the exercise. This is beneficial in that you allow yourself to stop, stop the busyness and all the fuss, and just focus. Emotional catharsis. When we are overwhelmed by emotions, journaling can provide the space for us to vent, examine and understand our emotions. It can be a purging of sorts where there is no judgment or expectations. This processing of hard emotions gives room for emotional processing and regulation. Self-discovery. There is no personal growth that ever happened without first examining who we are in our present [...]

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Peace in the Storm: Encouragement and Strategies to Overcome Anxiety

Peace in the Storm: Encouragement and Strategies to Overcome Anxiety

Mansfield Christian Counseling2023-10-19T17:24:04+00:00May 2nd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When we look at our external and internal worlds, our lives sometimes resemble raging storms. Torrents of health issues, family matters, economic woes, and political dissension can catapult our lives into tumult. Wind howls and waves surge, tossing our lives every which way within a massive ocean. It can unsettle us, rousing questions within. We find ourselves, like Christ’s disciples, wondering if God sees us or if He cares. There is a distinct difference between our experience of reading the account and living through a storm surge. As Bible readers, we can bypass the messy middle and skip to the happier ending in just a few moments when Jesus spoke and settled the storm in His followers and the one on the sea. That is encouraging, but when we are facing significant threats, we need these stories to advise us on how to navigate and hold on, despite tempestuous situations. Jesus’ followers lived through a real storm, with a real Savior, in real-time. Their example went ahead of us to provide takeaway truth when we find ourselves tossed on life’s seas. In His interaction with followers, Jesus modeled that we first address our faith, submit our distress to Him, and speak peace to still our storms. When we surrender anxiety and worries to the Spirit whose Breath fills us, we recognize that the wind and waves do not hold sway over us. They, too, have to bow to the God that created them. The God of mercy, who created us has given us the power to call and command storms into stillness in our faith-filled words. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children [...]

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How to Control Anger in the Bible: 10 Verses to Help You Cope

How to Control Anger in the Bible: 10 Verses to Help You Cope

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:06:38+00:00April 28th, 2023|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Managing and controlling your anger is not easy, particularly under stressful conditions. It’s an emotion that can be used for good or evil. It has to be dealt with in an appropriate manner, that is the manner in which we see anger in the Bible dealt with. Don’t keep it bottled up inside, as it will become destructive to your health. Anger in the Bible The Bible does not forbid anger, but it does forbid sinning in anger (Ephesians 4:26 NIV). Being able to restrain your anger is a spiritual discipline that keeps it within limits, and dissipates the intensity of emotion you might be feeling about something rather than firing it up even more. The fact that the Bible contains numerous references on how to control anger shows that it is an issue common to everyone. It is only through meditation on Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit that any true victory can be experienced. Here are 10 verses to provide wisdom and encouragement as you learn to control anger. A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. – Proverbs 14:29, NIV We see here the contrasting of the negative and the positive which is shown in the first ten verses of the chapter. Solomon is illustrating the difference between the wise and the foolish person. How to control anger shown here in the Bible is a sign of maturity, and with this act comes understanding. You can then assess a situation carefully and react accordingly without wrath. Anger is foolish and will lead to people avoiding you. Don’t react to others in anger. Turn to prayer and God’s Word instead. A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good. – Proverbs 16:29, NIV Solomon [...]

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Ways to Improve Mental Health at Home

Ways to Improve Mental Health at Home

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T07:07:08+00:00February 9th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Your mental health is imperative to your overall health. Poor mental health can lead to physical symptoms and behaviors resulting in illnesses and diseases. Depression, anxiety, and impulsiveness can bring about self-harm, risky behaviors, and suicidal thoughts. But you can find ways to improve mental health at home. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. – Proverbs 17:22, NIV Protecting and nurturing your mental health can improve your outlook and mood and help you think clearly. Keeping ways to improve mental health in your arsenal will make it easier to navigate life’s challenges and rise to the top. Ways to improve mental health at home You need a list of ways to improve mental health. Once you begin practicing these suggestions at home, you will find them helpful to carry over in other areas of your life, such as your career and other relationships. In addition, developing resilience will make it easier for you to function during crises and to heal from loss and disappointment. Choose a few ways to improve mental health and challenge yourself to implement one for a week or a month. Give yourself plenty of time to change your habits and mindset, and don’t forget to exercise grace when you get off track. If your new practice derails, pick yourself back up and try again. The only way you will stop improving is if you stop. Avoid vices. Vices are those behaviors and addictions that negatively affect physical health. Smoking, vaping, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, and using drugs will lead to addiction, emotional and mental issues, and possible conditions that will result in death. Many of these vices alter brain circuitry and affect the central nervous system. You become a slave to these substances, and they can [...]

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