Relationship Issues Archives | Mansfield Christian Counseling

When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

When Christian Divorce is Inevitable

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:16+00:00April 12th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Divorce may feel as though your world has been shattered and your life has come to an abrupt halt. It can affect your sense of self-worth and identity. Divorce, especially for a believer, is often considered more painful than losing a spouse to death. What does the Bible say about it? There is only one written law about divorce in the Bible. It was given to the Israelites by Moses to protect the women of that day. It protected them from being arbitrarily discarded by their husbands and left destitute without any means of support, and from the shame of social stigma that went with divorce. This law allowed a man to write his wife a certificate of divorce if she did not please him, leaving her free to marry another man (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). He could not just send her away without it. In the New Testament, when the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus into providing a black-and-white answer as to where He stood on this Old Testament law regarding divorce, Jesus told them that it was never what God intended. “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV When they further pressed Him as to why then Moses commanded that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce, Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. – Matthew 19:4-8, NIV Biblical grounds for a Christian [...]

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The Third Party in Infidelity

The Third Party in Infidelity

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:42:58+00:00January 9th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Relationship Issues|

When we talk about infidelity, we tend to focus on those who were cheated on and those who cheated. We look at the “couple” in the situation; the straying spouse and the one they hurt. But infidelity requires a third person, and we often overlook how an affair can affect them. It can be just as damaging and difficult to process being the “other person” involved in an affair. In TV and movies, the other person often doesn’t have any residual emotions. The plot revolves around the couple, and the other person is just there to create tension. But what about the person left behind when the person in a relationship goes home? There can be feelings of guilt or questioning if what we are doing is right. There can be anxiety over getting caught. There can be loss and hurt if the other person decides to stay with their spouse. If the third party did not know their lover was married, that can lead to emotions they never had to consider before finding out the truth. Infidelity is complicated and multifaceted. There are reasons people seek sex outside of their marriage. There are reasons why people willingly enter into a relationship with someone they know to be married. However carnal we pretend sex to be, there are emotions and attachments behind the act. An affair carries with it a certain amount of weight regardless of how cavalier people (and society) choose to be. The level of intimacy can affect a person in an affair. Casual hook-ups from online dating sites versus carrying on as if you were a couple bring with them different emotions and attachments. A counselor can help unpack what is going on. When the affair is over, or even when it’s going on, it is [...]

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Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Why Respecting Boundaries in Relationships Matters

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:45:11+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There may be many similarities across various relationships, but boundaries in relationships will look different in different relationships if they are to flourish. The kind of love that exists between a parent and child doesn’t look the same or work in the same way as that between a husband and wife. At the root of both is love, but that love acts differently in meeting the needs of that relationship. In the same way, each relationship requires boundaries, but what those boundaries are and how they are applied may differ depending on the relationship. However, the key thing is that boundaries are necessary for relationships and the people in them to flourish. What is a boundary? Surely, having boundaries in relationships means that you’re not close with the person? Often, people mistake boundaries for formality or even emotional remoteness. As such, it feels like boundaries are what you have with the people you either don’t like or with whom you’re trying to keep things professional, like your banker or real estate agent. However, boundaries are essential in any relationship, and they help it flourish. Let me explain. In the dictionary of the American Psychological Association (APA), a boundary is defined as a “psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” This boundary marks the line between individuals, telling them apart for the purpose of conducting a meaningful relationship. Without boundaries, you can’t tell who each party in the relationship is, and that’s a big deal, especially because of how our needs and capacities differ. What’s so important about boundaries in relationships? If you take an everyday example, say you have two cars in your household - it matters which [...]

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Helpful Bible Verses about Love and Marriage

Helpful Bible Verses about Love and Marriage

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T12:51:37+00:00August 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Love and marriage are many things – complicated, beautiful, hard, and joyful. Each marriage is a world unto itself, and the couple in that relationship are shaped profoundly by it for the rest of their lives. There is no doubt that when God gave marriage to humanity as a gift, it was a good gift intended for our good. However, we would be naïve if we didn’t recognize that our lives beyond Eden makemarriage a complicated gift that takes deft hands to handle. In a sense, a healthy and successful marriage can be boiled down to a few things. Mignon McLaughlin once stated, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Falling in love must often be deliberate because many things conspire against enjoying one’s spouse and continuing to delight in them. We can find many pointers in the Bible about marriage and how best to handle this gift. Bible Verses about Love and Marriage How do you feel about yourself? We often have complicated relationships with our bodies, but a healthy relationship with ourselves will often entail taking care of our bodies, appreciating what our bodies can do, and avoiding unhealthy comparisons between our bodies and those of others. That idea can help couples consider an important aspect of what the Bible says about married life. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one [...]

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